.... well crushin wasn't easy. he had a girl. one he had been with on and off for maybe over a year... she was basically satan... ugh... well He loved her... which to this day makes me totally nauseous... well she strung him on a thin line, she would say she loved him.... she lied.
He didn't deserve it. No one would ever deserve it....
Monday, January 24, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
True Blues
My soulmate, a best friend from the beginning... sound like a broken record yet? if not, it will.
With my ex, My life was full of depression and my self- esteem plunged as I kept in a depressive state that was totally unnessesary. Luckily, my best friend kept me smiling. Our fond memories date back, it seems forever, but its more mid november when I began growing. A talent show was in the midst of my high school.
Singing, being a passion of mine, was my "talent" and well he played the guitar. A scheduled "practice" turned into a jam session full of inside jokes, smiles, laughs, and most of all, sparks. I was on a serious juice box binge, and as he arrives I hand him one. Being the silly thing he is, he decides to totally open the bottom of it. He called it "gapping the juice box" haha Our jam session was like played in my head as a ballroom dance. Harmonically flowing together rhymically and smoothly. It was like we were just meant to make music together. He made me feel a happy I had never really known. A happy had surfaced from my deepest secluded part of my heart. At the time I had no idea this feeling, is what people called love.
A Second "practice" emerged and again it was full of laughter of sorts. In my basement he played me songs, we made jokes no one could understand (is that a bowling ball? crystal meth!) and he taught me a song... haha... Roadhouse..
A choir family emerged from us. He and I were playfully "married" which sparked role play in our choir class but our "marriage" endured the fad and is still in place now, even now that we are together. Our friendship consisted of cuddling, kisses on my head, holding hands, and flirting that seemed to be incontrolable.
we were apart of an after school choir group, Chorale. It brought us very close. We sang and would make jokes constantly. Its kinda just what we do I suppose. haha
With my ex, My life was full of depression and my self- esteem plunged as I kept in a depressive state that was totally unnessesary. Luckily, my best friend kept me smiling. Our fond memories date back, it seems forever, but its more mid november when I began growing. A talent show was in the midst of my high school.
Singing, being a passion of mine, was my "talent" and well he played the guitar. A scheduled "practice" turned into a jam session full of inside jokes, smiles, laughs, and most of all, sparks. I was on a serious juice box binge, and as he arrives I hand him one. Being the silly thing he is, he decides to totally open the bottom of it. He called it "gapping the juice box" haha Our jam session was like played in my head as a ballroom dance. Harmonically flowing together rhymically and smoothly. It was like we were just meant to make music together. He made me feel a happy I had never really known. A happy had surfaced from my deepest secluded part of my heart. At the time I had no idea this feeling, is what people called love.
A Second "practice" emerged and again it was full of laughter of sorts. In my basement he played me songs, we made jokes no one could understand (is that a bowling ball? crystal meth!) and he taught me a song... haha... Roadhouse..
A choir family emerged from us. He and I were playfully "married" which sparked role play in our choir class but our "marriage" endured the fad and is still in place now, even now that we are together. Our friendship consisted of cuddling, kisses on my head, holding hands, and flirting that seemed to be incontrolable.
we were apart of an after school choir group, Chorale. It brought us very close. We sang and would make jokes constantly. Its kinda just what we do I suppose. haha
A side road that I thought was my highway
Details of unhappy memories are things I try to surpress, but it seems that they always surface at one point or another. for instance a relationship that began on September 3rd.
I went to a football game horribly miserable because of a previous failed relationship.
I was friends with this guy I went to the game with for a bit, flirt buddies.
life was good, superficial and fake, but good.
I was apart of school activities with a clique everyone either feared or loathed or was apart of.
and well I had a front that wasn't me..... oh yeah... I was the new kid.. My own version of Mean Girls. haha
..... I rambled.... back to this guy.
A guy who was fun to flirt with, funny... at the time, and somewhat attractive.. haha
Yeah I had a crush.. and it became a relationship about as quickly as it stopped, it seemed.
for a week it was fun and romance that was as shallow as a sandbar and I didn't know it. High school maturity, it'll get ya everytime. I superficially fell "head over hills." Flowers, Hammocks, A rescuer is how I saw him at the time and on September 12th we began to date officially. It was a spiral downhill of nothing but physical advancedments and arguements sparked from jealousy and evetually led to hostility and a misplaced vcard. It ended on October 28th. and eventually turned into a nuclear war of verbal abuse and hostile glances... he's totally different to me now... I don't know that other person... I feel like I never did...
I went to a football game horribly miserable because of a previous failed relationship.
I was friends with this guy I went to the game with for a bit, flirt buddies.
life was good, superficial and fake, but good.
I was apart of school activities with a clique everyone either feared or loathed or was apart of.
and well I had a front that wasn't me..... oh yeah... I was the new kid.. My own version of Mean Girls. haha
..... I rambled.... back to this guy.
A guy who was fun to flirt with, funny... at the time, and somewhat attractive.. haha
Yeah I had a crush.. and it became a relationship about as quickly as it stopped, it seemed.
for a week it was fun and romance that was as shallow as a sandbar and I didn't know it. High school maturity, it'll get ya everytime. I superficially fell "head over hills." Flowers, Hammocks, A rescuer is how I saw him at the time and on September 12th we began to date officially. It was a spiral downhill of nothing but physical advancedments and arguements sparked from jealousy and evetually led to hostility and a misplaced vcard. It ended on October 28th. and eventually turned into a nuclear war of verbal abuse and hostile glances... he's totally different to me now... I don't know that other person... I feel like I never did...
In the Beginning
Everyone thinks that they have there own true movie love story, I know I do.
It didn't start that way, though.
On July 3rd, 2010 I attended an Independence Day firework show in the park of our small town.
I glance over to see him, red flannel, just like always.
Eventually he stands next to me. His vibe is so intriguing. I didn't forget him.
School starts and I see him, and come to find we have a class together.
On August 13th, 2010 There was a Jamboree at school and I go to hang with his best friends.
Well with fate being on my side, I spent the day with him and one of our close friends and that was the real beginning of it all.
He had a girl with him.... not like a date.... just a girl... and the end of this is approaching soon.
let's just say it didn't effect me at the time but now... ha... well.... I'm not a fan of that little... situation... haha
I had become friends with him in no time.
It didn't start that way, though.
On July 3rd, 2010 I attended an Independence Day firework show in the park of our small town.
I glance over to see him, red flannel, just like always.
Eventually he stands next to me. His vibe is so intriguing. I didn't forget him.
School starts and I see him, and come to find we have a class together.
On August 13th, 2010 There was a Jamboree at school and I go to hang with his best friends.
Well with fate being on my side, I spent the day with him and one of our close friends and that was the real beginning of it all.
He had a girl with him.... not like a date.... just a girl... and the end of this is approaching soon.
let's just say it didn't effect me at the time but now... ha... well.... I'm not a fan of that little... situation... haha
I had become friends with him in no time.
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